Tonight I am reflecting on this past week since I went to the Cash Machine. It has been an incredible week, it truly has. What a gift I have been given with Loral and her team. I have direction and a path to take.
This week has brought alot of changes in my life. Top of the list is my family wont be homeless. That is pretty big. :)
This past week has helped me find myself again and begin to feel good and start a healing process. I feel different inside today than I did a week ago. I think I had become numb in a sense in alot of ways. My neighbors and friends tell me often how good I am holding up with all that has happened to our family and how strong Iam and how positive I am.
I am positive by nature but the other two things I think are a joke, they just don't see what is really going on inside of me. I have been crumbling inside, I don't feel strong, I have felt weak. I have felt like a failure. I have felt like I have failed and let down the people I love the most, my children. We as parents are given a beautiful gift of life. (You could say I have been very blessed by having four kids) They look to us for guidance and to teach them wrong from right. We were supposed to be better than this. To watch your children lose their home to foreclosure not just your home but their home and not understand why weighs so heavily on my heart. In their eyes I have seen their fears and their worries. I wish I could say they don't know what is going on and that I have protected them from all of this.
Working towards rebuilding and starting my Cash Machine having "hope" for our future this past week has made me feel good inside. I have worked really hard this past week and it feels great. I am starting to feel good about me again.
Looking back on this past week I also notice the difference in Greg and I. The tension that was so intense between us at times is gone today. The money I made at the Cash Machine Workshop I think relieved both of our minds. That was a huge pressure off of us. Greg has also been helping me out more with the kids and house so I can have the time to work. Which then creates the feeling in me that he believes in me and knows I can make this happen with my Cash Machine.
What a week.... Alot of Powerful Changes....
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