Today has just been a bad day. Greg is in San Diego for the weekend working with his friend. Greg is showing his friend open houses for sale in the area.
Things are tense and uncomfortable between us. There is no money. We have very little food to eat in the house. Tonight several neighbors all pitched in for pizza hut. I had to take my kids inside and eat a Cup of Noodles in 90 degree weather. It was hard. Brandan understands and wont push. The girls dont understand. Where are house sits we are right in the middle on both sides of our neighbors. Our driveway is the meeting place for everyone.
The Ice Cream man came around shortly later to top it off, again my kids were the only ones not able to get the ice cream. They were so good about it. I think the better they are the more it hurts my heart.
I am so frustrated. I want to just go out and get a job. I cant without Greg's help. I need him to watch the kids. I want so badly to get a job in the evening. Greg is not supportive of the idea. We have been fighting about it for the last couple months. He thinks it will bring chaos to our lives..... HELLO..... our life is already chaotic....
Feeding our family is a priority and having basic utilities is a need. I am so frustrated and so sad inside....
I am very unhappy and very overwhelmed. I feel like a failure and I feel like my kids deserve better than this, than me as a mom.....
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