I woke up last night again throwing up violently in the bathroom The stress is eating me up. It is getting harder and harder to function. I hardly recognize myself when I look in the mirror. I miss laughing. I used to be happy.
Our neighbors and friends have been wonderful. The kids loving playing out front in the late afternoon. It is cooler outside and our house is so hot. Our neighbors come out and all the kids play. It is a nice break from reality sometimes. Sometimes I find it really hard to come out and put a happy face on and pretend like I am okay when really inside I feel like the biggest loser and I have failed my 4 kids whom I love the most in this world. There are days it is hard to pick my head up.
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